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Salespeople know what to do, however, when they hear a ‘buying signal’ they get excited and emotions start running the meeting, not consultative selling skills.


You have all probably been a victim of this selling scenario. You are buying a product or service and share your challenges and/or goals you’d like to achieve.

Then the salesperson moves into ‘spray and pray’ mode. He sprays all his solutions and prays that one will resonate with you. Sound familiar?

So what’s the reason for this behavior? There are hundreds of sales books and audio’s about the topic of listening.

Salespeople have been told they have two ears and one mouth for a reason. And sales trainers, coaches and managers preach the importance of asking good questions, provocative questions.

It’s the knowing and doing gap. Salespeople know what to do, however, when they hear a ‘buying signal’ they get excited and emotions start running the meeting, not consultative selling skills.

To close the gap, develop two emotional intelligence skills that will help you stop presenting too soon and too often: emotional self-awareness and impulse control.

Emotionally self-aware salespeople pay attention to the various triggers that show up, which cause their mouths to move.

They recognize that statements such as, “We really need to…” or, “We are having a challenge with…” can trigger an emotional response to present and solve.

With increased awareness, you recognize the emotion which eliminates the inappropriate response. I like to teach clients to use the ‘Why, What, What’ formula to stop the emotional response of rushing in to save the day.

When a prospect shares a concern, train yourself to stop, think and get answers to:

  • Why is this a problem?
  • What is the impact of this problem to the prospect today?
  • What is the future impact if this problem continues?

This increased awareness helps you get back to a logical frame of mind to ask more questions and avoid the show up/throw up scenario.

Let’s look at impulse control which is defined as the ability to LOOK before you leap. Salespeople that have developed this EQ skill control the impulse to LEAP into solutions.

They control the impulse to present solutions before really figuring out the root cause of the prospect’s challenge.

Impulse control is also delayed gratification. Good salespeople have the ability to delay the impulse of presenting their solutions and hearing themselves talk.

Quick fix is not in their vocabulary as they understand the presenting problem is usually not the real problem. They are systematic in their approach to learning their prospect’s story.

Take the time to learn your prospect’s Story by applying your emotional self-awareness and impulse control.

Let your prospect finish their story!

About the author

Colleen Stanley

Colleen Stanley is president of SalesLeadership Inc., a business development consulting firm specializing in…

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