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When They Say No: Overcoming Rejection And Shifting Your Mindset

  • Introduces Andrea and Richard’s new book, When They Say No, and provides valuable insights on overcoming rejection in sales.
  • The fear of rejection has evolutionary roots, but it can be reframed to reach positive sales outcomes.
  • Breaking the negative thought spiral that follows rejection is crucial and should be given due importance.
  • The opening phase in sales, though often overlooked, holds significant value in establishing rapport and understanding customer needs.
  • Learn practical strategies to effectively handle rejection and rewire the mindset for success.
  • Salespeople should endeavor to embrace rejection as an opportunity for growth and relationship-building.
  • When salespeople overcome the fear of rejection, they achieve lasting sales success.

Your Fear of “No” Is Holding You Back

Are you tired of feeling defeated by rejection in sales and find yourself avoiding potential opportunities because the fear of hearing “no” holds you back? It’s time to shift your mindset and embrace rejection as a stepping stone to success.

In this episode of the Sales Gravy Podcast, renowned sales experts Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz share valuable insights from their book When They Say No that will revolutionize your sales approach.



The Power of Reframing Rejection

Our fear of rejection is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history.

Throughout human evolution, being accepted by the tribe was crucial for survival. Rejection meant being cast out and left to fend for oneself, facing increased vulnerability to predators and the loss of the collective support and resources provided by the group.

Our brains developed a powerful instinct to avoid rejection at all costs.

However, the good news is that we possess the ability to hack our brains and change our perception of rejection. Instead of automatically equating rejection with death or social isolation, we can actively reframe our thoughts.

By recognizing that rejection in the modern world does not carry the same life-or-death consequences, we can replace our negative thoughts with more productive ones.

We can remind ourselves that rejection is often subjective and influenced by various factors beyond our control. With this shift in perspective, we can approach rejection as a valuable learning experience, an opportunity to grow and improve rather than a definitive judgment of our worth.

Breaking the Cycle of Negative Thoughts

Salespeople, in particular, are often vulnerable to a dangerous spiral of negative thoughts following rejection. When faced with a rejection, it is easy to get caught in a downward spiral of worry, anxiety, and self-doubt.

This negative cycle not only hampers our emotional well-being but also impairs our effectiveness in sales. The more we dwell on negative outcomes, the more our confidence wavers, and the less persuasive and motivated we become.

Recognizing this pattern is crucial for breaking free from its grasp. By actively reframing our thoughts, we can disrupt the negative cycle and redirect our focus towards positive outcomes.

Instead of dwelling on what went wrong or personalizing the rejection, we can shift our attention to the lessons learned, the potential for improvement, and the possibilities of future success.

It is essential to understand that rejection is not solely a psychological problem but also a physiological one. The fear of rejection triggers stress responses in our bodies, which further perpetuate the negative thought patterns.

By recognizing this physiological aspect and consciously choosing to reframe our thoughts, we can liberate ourselves from the chains of fear and propel ourselves towards success in sales and beyond.

The Power of the Opening Phase

The opening phase of the sales process is an aspect often overlooked in sales literature. Selling goes beyond pitching product features and freebies. It involves building rapport, asking questions, and understanding the customer’s needs. A strong opening early on in the sales process sets the stage for a successful close.

The opening phase in sales is a critical juncture that is often overlooked or rushed through in the pursuit of closing a deal. However, this initial stage holds immense significance in building rapport, establishing trust, and gaining a deep understanding of the customer’s needs and desires. When sales professionals invest time and effort into creating meaningful connections with their prospects early on, they lay the foundation for a successful and mutually beneficial relationship.

Building Trust Is Essential To Winning The Sale

One of the key reasons why establishing connections with prospects during the opening phase is crucial is the building of trust. In any sales interaction, trust forms the bedrock of a successful relationship. By taking the time to truly listen to prospects, showing genuine interest, and demonstrating empathy, sales professionals can cultivate trust and credibility. When prospects feel understood and valued, they are more likely to open up about their challenges, goals, and pain points, which provides invaluable insight for tailoring the sales approach and offering relevant solutions.

Prevent Objections Before They Arise

Moreover, establishing connections early on helps curb objections that may arise during the sales process. When prospects feel a sense of connection and trust, they are more receptive to the sales professional’s message and less likely to raise objections or barriers.

By investing time in the opening phase to understand the prospect’s motivations, concerns, and preferences, sales professionals can address potential objections proactively.

They can align their pitch with the prospect’s specific needs and present compelling solutions that directly address their pain points. This personalized approach not only minimizes objections but also increases the chances of a successful sale.

Furthermore, the opening phase allows sales professionals to gather vital information about the prospect’s decision-making process and the key stakeholders involved.

By building relationships early on, they can uncover valuable insights into the prospect’s organizational structure, decision-making dynamics, and the specific criteria that influence their purchasing decisions. Armed with this knowledge, sales professionals can tailor their approach, navigate internal challenges, and present a persuasive case that resonates with the prospect and aligns with their unique context.

The Opening Phase Sets The Stage

Recognizing the importance of the opening phase in sales is crucial for building rapport, establishing trust, and gaining a deep understanding of the customer’s needs.

By investing time and effort into creating connections with prospects early on, sales professionals can lay a solid foundation for successful relationships, mitigate objections, and increase their chances of closing deals. The opening phase serves as a valuable opportunity to establish a strong rapport, gather key insights, and pave the way for a fruitful sales journey.


The innovative Sales Gravy University sales training platform gives on the go individuals and entire teams easy, affordable access to the world’s top sales trainers in both live and on-demand courses. Now you can learn how to win in sales anywhere, anytime, and on any device. 

About the author

Andrea Waltz

Andrea Waltz is the co-author of the best-selling book Go for No! and a…

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