I don’t know about you, but when someone tries to push, shove, coerce, chase me into buying from them….I RUN THE OTHER WAY.

It all started with Sex and The City.  One of the lines on the show was “He’s just not that into you.”  Someone else saw that clip, decided to write a book about the concept and hey – NOW it’s a movie!

Guess what? The philosophy ALSO applies to the world of relationship-based selling.

Are You Making This Pitiful Mistake?

Something that drives this Sales Diva crazy is when entrepreneurs think they have to “push a customer into buying from them.”

And so they begin the barrage of endless and annoying phone calls and emails to their potential customer asking them…

“Have you reviewed the product/proposal/made up your mind yet?”

All thinly disguised as “Persistence.”

However, for your potential client it has a nasty undercurrent of:


Eeek.  I don’t know about you, but when someone tries to push, shove, coerce, chase me into buying from them….I RUN THE OTHER WAY.

What’s The Worst Perfume In The World?

Hint: A big honking whiff of Eau d’ Desperation!

Listen.  If a customer senses you need the money, need the sale, and that you’re feeling desperate – they’ll actually question your value.

And they will either ignore you completely or they’ll give you the outright NO. (And probably buy from your competitor)

So How Do You Entice Your Customer So They Are INTO YOU?

It’s all about setting the stage.  This is something women entrepreneurs have always asked me. They’ll say “Kim, I see you everywhere!”

I’m not everywhere, however I know my target customer and I make sure I hang out where they hang out.

How?  Oh – let me count the ways! (There are TONS but I’ll give you 4 to get started)

  • Testimonials.

    Have credible testimonials from real people, their full name and picture and where they’re from.  The testimonials should be FULL OF RESULTS and HOW you solved their problem.

  • The Subtle Surround.

    Find out who knows your potential customer. Ask them to introduce you or to send them a sample article, teleclass, product etc that you offer.

  • Send Something In The Mail

    …but not a big sales pitch of stuff.  Send an observation, hint at an idea, include another sample – that will warm them up before they’ve even met you. I’ve even sent newspaper articles or ads I’ve clipped from the New York Times, tucked in my business card and said “I saw this and thought of your company.  Warm Regards, Kim Duke, CEO of www.salesdivas.com

  • Get Thee To An Association Meeting.

    Remember – who do you want to ATTRACT? Almost everyone belongs to a professional association of some kind.  Do some research. Ask your customers to take you to their association meetings or lunches.  Now you’re sitting at a table of 8 with your customer raving about you!

Remember – in all relationships, including the ones we have with customers, developing the trust, respect and likeability factor is CRITICAL.

And the most important thing?

Don’t take it personally.  If you do get a NO from a customer you really wanted – it could be about timing, funding, or they just feel you’re not the “best fit.”

Send them a thank you card anyway and stay within the radar.  And promise me you’ll stay away from the smelly Eau d’ Desperation.

So there.

About the author

Kim Duke

Kim Duke is The Sales Diva! She's an unconventional, sassy and savvy sales expert…

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